Flight Papers

feminism and creativity, art, madness, and play

It’s funny.


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It’s funny how few words are required to radically change a dynamic.

Cab driver: “Do you want to touch my dick?”

I’m fine. I left, dropping money and saying that no, I like girls.

But I am glad, at the moment, that I live in a concrete box.

7 Responses to “It’s funny.”

  1. Ryan Says:

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    you should have gotten his name and reported him to his company, and possibly the police.

  2. violet Says:

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    That’s what my friend said, too. But I was drunk, tired, and mostly just wanted to get out of the situation.

    Most likely, reporting it wouldn’t do anything. He tried to sell me meth, too, and that could cost him his job, and possibly lead to prison time.

    That’s not right, though, and I don’t want to wield that unjust system. It’s just overly severe for something that, while really uncomfortable, wasn’t terrifying or violent.

  3. Ryan Says:

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    soooo, when he does that to someone else and scares the crap outta them, that’s cool right? or, considering that there was a solid chance that he was sampleing his own product, when he doesn’t bother to *ask* the next girl, you won’t feel any responsibility? removing people like that for the general population (and the gene pool in my oppinion, but then I’m kinda cranky like that) is everyones job. It helps keep society civil and polite. Or at least tolerable . like picking up litter or cleaning up after your dog.

  4. violet Says:

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    Of course, if those things happen, it’ll be shitty, and if I hear about it, I’ll feel shitty.

    But then, on a personal level, I’d still feel shitty playing the role of the good citizen calling the cops and watching them drag one more black man to jail because he did something that squicked me, once. Some guys are just assholes that don’t go around raping women. If there were some kind of middle-ground de-assholification group, then yeah, I’d be all for it. But there isn’t.

    And I definitely feel bad for the next girl he pulls that on, but men do things that disturb me all the time. If I took action against every guy who accosted me in a sexualized way on the street, it would be a full time fuckin’ job.

    And all that aside, what was I supposed to do? Stand outside his cab and try to remember or text down the license plate or cab number?

  5. Ryan Says:

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    ok, first point, the guys relative skin melanin content has *no* bearing on the matter of his behavior. Second, this is one of those “if you don’t teach them they won’t learn nothing” situation. if you have called and at least complained to his supervisor he would be a *hell* of alot less likely to do it again knowing it would cost him his job at least and quite possibly a hassle with the cops. Third, this guy is (or at least advertised himself as) a meth dealer. While I’m all for legalizing a fair number of drugs on the DEA’s current hit parade, meth is far from being among them. if this guy is accosting women in a closed vehicle *that he controls and could take anywhere he wants* and is selling a dangerous and harmful drug I would say that makes him slightly more then your garden variety annoying asshole. as to what you could have done, yah, license plate takes what, 10 seconds? I’m sure you knew the cab company. you then have to call and complain the next day. Total elapsed time having to deal with it might be half an hour. And for your half hour you take care of a list of potential problems that goes up to and includes rape. All in all I would say that’s a pretty good deal.

  6. violet Says:

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    Look, you’re operating on the Stab the Bad People fallacy. Like, there’s this fixed population of bad people, and if we just stab enough of them, there won’t be bad people anymore! Or at least, the remaining bad people will act good, because they don’t want to be stabbed.

    This doesn’t work.*

    You really think that standing around outside his cab while obviously taking down his license plate number was unquestionably the best response to that situation? Really? Okay, let’s go with that.

    Next, you have to also believe that the obvious result of him getting censured, losing his job, and maybe going to jail is that he would say, “Wow, clearly, all this stuff I was doing was a big mistake and I should never do it again.” This despite no particular evidence that such is the likely outcome.

    (How many rapists say, “I didn’t realize how fucked up my views of women were?”

    How many say, “that stupid slut?”)

    And then you have to believe that hurting this one person has changed something about the world. Made the streets safer, or something. Which it hasn’t. I don’t think this one guy is fundamentally different from half the men I see on the street. He is just operating from a different social context.

    Like I said, if there were some kind of de-assholification procedure that didn’t involve tangling with the criminal justice system, I’d be much more likely to go that route. Because such a process would be more likely to help him, too, rather than kinda throwing him away. And, additionally, would be more likely to work.

    (You’re right on one point: his skin color isn’t relevant to his behavior or my decision. I only mentioned it as metonymy for the fucked-up-ness of the criminal justice system, which incidentally isn’t an institution I am like to enjoy my interactions with, either.)

  7. Chris Says:

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    I think his skin color does play a fair factor. The unfortunate fact is, every time police and black folks get involved, you have to ask yourself if you’re going to see someone unarmed shot in the back. (Just a few months ago in Seattle, they tasered a pregnant woman… so…)

    But yeah. De-asshole-ification. Unfortunately, until we get to the point where society is willing to provide a strong enough atmosphere of pressure (that is, enough to where he wouldn’t say that shit in public, or in private to strangers), we’re going to keep running into it.

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